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Rice, lentils, and a bit of perfectionism?


red lentils cupped in hands with lentils in the background

So, it took me two days but I did finally muster the enthusiasm to make big pot of rice and a big pot of lentils. Some days, I cannot wait to get into the kitchen, and others, well not so much.


When you think of a perfectionist, do you imagine someone who is good at anything she does, achieving whatever they want to achieve, successful no matter where he winds up? I always did. As you know I have that "woo" side to me and since I was a kid I was always curious about astrology. I knew my sign was Virgo, an Earth sign, a worrier likely with digestive issues, I felt connected to that, it made sense. One descriptor of a Virgo that didn't make sense was perfectionist. How could that be? Perfectionists work and learn and keep going to get the thing right, they keep striving, they keep achieving, and even when they do, they're hard on themselves because, well, to them, it's not perfect.


In my 20's, I learned about another kind of perfectionist. This perfectionist is so unwilling to feel that failure of not doing it perfectly that they simply don't try at all! This perfectionist is so trapped by this, they miss out on many amazing opportunities and chances. This perfectionist makes sense, this perfectionist is me.


Okay, so what does that have to do with lentils and rice? Everything.


Sometimes, I know what is holding me back in the kitchen is the idea that the next meal I make won't be the best meal ever, or maybe, won't even be good enough. I tell myself that I'll spend all this time in the kitchen and the food will suck so we'll have to order something anyway, so, why bother. Even making rice and lentils, to have a base to start with, seems silly when I'm experiencing these feelings.


Do you ever feel this way?


The nice thing is, it doesn't last. I mean, sure, I can spend all day wrapped in these thoughts sometimes, but that's less frequent. Sometimes, most times, it's only one meal. And sometimes, when I'm really feeling like fighting my old ways, I'll get up and do it anyway.


I don't hate cook though. Hate cooking just leads to terrible dishes and spreading your negative energy everywhere. If you've muttered "motherf****er" or whatever word in your vernacular that hits the same, more than twice, you're hate cooking. Back away from the pot and eat some thing you can microwave, pour a bowl of cereal with plant milk, or order up your favorite take-out. It's okay, it will pass.


Are you a perfectionist? How do you handle those days you just don't have what it takes to get a task done? Share your thoughts on this blog in the comments.



 

As there's still a chance of fireworks tonight, I'm sharing my blog on why we need to knock it off with the fireworks one more time. https://www.didyoubringthehummus.com/post/why-i-say-no-to-fireworks-and-why-you-should-too


 

Details have already gone out but I do have space for more participants to help me beta-test a 4 week go vegan program. If you'd like to learn more, send an email to didyoubringthehummus@gmail.com with the subject "I'm in!" and in the body of the email let me know which time zone you're in and I'll send the details over to you!

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4 Comments


I can relate to both types of perfectionism: one that feels everything has to be done perfectly, and the one that feels so overwhelmed by not doing it perfectly that we just avoid trying. The first type I actually let go of years ago, because really, why be your own crazy-maker. (Thanks, Julia Cameron). The second type I am learning to confront and just do it anyway, like cleaning up my kitchen every night so I don’t wake up to a mess the next morning. Also, this blog challenge is truly a challenge for me. It’s the technical stuff, but I am determined to conquer it.😊

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Tamara Gerber
Tamara Gerber
Jul 05, 2023

While i'm definitely guilty of having perfectionistic traits, they don't usually keep me from cooking. However, whatever I make in the kitchen, it must *look* appetizing. I learned from my Mom that your meal is supposed to be a feast for your eyes, too. When it comes to entertaining guests, though, I can't just whip up dinner and be done. I go all the way cleaning up, decorating, coming up with an elaborate meal, you get the picture, and of course it's exhausting, and I may think twice before inviting people over if I am not up for the whole nine yards. Does that make sense?

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Guest
Jul 05, 2023

Although my sun sign is Gemini and I really identify with my rising sign, which is Pisces, I am part of a 60s generation that has Pluto and Uranus in Virgo opposite Saturn and Chiron in Pisces. I can relate to A LOT of those Virgo characteristics, including perfectionism, both the active kind and the discouraged kind! And it definitely affects my willingness to try new things, especially recipes. I'm the girl who doctors every meal I eat if it was prepared by someone else. I can't stand the thought of failing to make something delicious. - Jeanine Byers

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Janice Gill
Janice Gill
Jul 05, 2023

I feel for you, we can be our own worst critic and drag ourselves down. We all have to learn to be kind to ourselves.

Thanks for sharing.

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